Monday, November 21, 2011

Getting Personal

"Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God."
Philippians 4:6


That passage was given to me by my friend this morning, when I ashamedly shared with him that lately (The past couple months) my days have been filled with stress and uneasiness. This stress and uneasiness may be a result of the pressures that seasonal commercials on television are putting on not only me, but also on all of America this holiday season. Something is not right about that sentence.  Usually, I listen to Christmas music year round to help me relax during the hectic year. Now, it only seems like a stressful reminder that I will need to buy Christmas gifts to all those I care about, but most importantly it is the stressful reminder that I still don't have a full time job.

I know I am one of the many of graduated college students who are in the same boat. Our student loan statements are hitting us fast. Everyday I remind myself of how grateful I am to at least have a job, regardless of it not being full time. And luckily, it is also a job in my field of expertise. But yet, that just doesn't seem like it's enough.

Today during my lunch, I decided to go to church nearby for Confession. As I quietly waited for the priest, I talked to God. Asking him to please give me a full time job soon. To please give me the means to buy presents for my loved ones. To please give help me figure out a way to start paying my student loans. As I start pouring my requests, a cute old lady in a wheel chair calls me over. In spanish she asks me if I could help her drop her donation in the donation box because she couldn't reach. I gladly obliged, and held out my hand while she poured her donation in my hand. As I slowly and silently poured her alms, I noticed that it had to be no more than $2.00 in pennies, nickles, and dimes. As I poured her donation into the box, she devoutly and lovingly prayed. 

I took a step back and she thanked me. I went back to the line where I was standing and my eyes  instantly started pouring with tears. I am usually known to be a huge crybaby, but this time it was different. This time I heard God talking to me through this humble lady. I waste so much time asking for something else. Wishing for something more. This lady was in a wheelchair offering the few change she had with great love. While I on the other hand, am perfectly healthy stressing out about not being able to give more, instead of putting to use what I do have, today. And not what I will have, tomorrow. 

>original photo found here